Quizzing the blog way.....not only funny!!!

I assume many of you know about an interesting series – Lapataganj on Sab TV. After all, asli maza sab ke saath aata hai. Don’t get me wrong….I have not been paid to advertise.


Anyway, there is a character that happens to relate every tom-dick-harry activity to his pitaaji (father). So, if someone brings up football in the discussion, he will say Football toh pitaaji khela karte the. Hmmm….wonder what happens to few great personalities when their children blabber the same way. So, here is a list of such one liner, the names omitted to let your hippocampus churn out the possibilities for a sugary tickle under your belly:

• Ghotala toh pitaaji kiya karte the
• Chaara toh pitaaji khaya karte the
• Tweet toh pitaaji kiya karte the
• Party toh pitaaji badla karte the
• Daaru pee kar footpath pe gaari toh pitaaji chadhaya karte the
• Sush ke saath saath aish toh pitaaji kiya karte the
• (in American accent) Methyl isocyanate toh pitaaji leak kiya karte the
• India shining ki hawa toh pitaaji chhora karte the
• Classy hone pe bhi Aag jaisi movie toh pitaaji banaya karte the
• Dharm ke naam pe sex scandal toh pitaaji kiya karte the
• Lewinski ka shikaar toh pitaaji kiya karte the
• Budhaape mei bhi saare movie contract toh pitaaji le jaya karte the
• Bina peeye Madhusala toh pitaaji likha karte the
• Party chief hone aur apne constituency mei railway zone banane ke baawzood election toh pitaaji haara karte the
• Regionalism toh pitaaji kiya karte the (applies to don’t-know-how-many generations)
• Swiss bank mei kaala dhan toh pitaaji jama kiya karte the (long list of baagar-billas)
• WTC toh pitaaji uraya karte the
• Sansad Bhawan/Taj attack toh pitaaji plan kiya karte the
• Ghatiya, rone-dhone, ghar ko todne waale serial toh pitaaji….oops maataji banaya karti thi
• Apni aur joridaar Haathi ki statues toh maataji banwaya karti thi                
• Jantaa ke paison ki maala toh maataji pehna karti thi
• TV, saaree, purse aur hazaaro jootiyaan toh maataji ghapla karti thi
• Godmother/kingpin toh maataji hua karti thi

Ughhhh….guys, spare me. I am now sick of these lines. Punch in your thoughts and suggest any funnier character that crosses your mind.

Happy blogging!

Funny Lines For Cash (1) 

Confession of Mr. Recession

Dear Indian Customers,

I know your sugar/vegetable/petrol consumption has declined since I burgled into your house. Believe me; I did not bring myself upon you. I was unintentionally programmed by the great players of the market to sweep off your almirah shelves when your peers in America defaulted on their home loans. Without doubt, the principles of financial prudence were ignored while disbursing the risky loans but does it matter now? 

The greed of higher returns led to the housing bubble which eventually burst. Despite the preventive measures by US Federal Reserve, I unwillingly swelled beneath your nose under the alias ‘Sub-prime Crisis’. Also, I had no idea about globalization as I last surfaced in 1930. Such cascading effect was not expected this time. You might still be angry but trust me, you are lucky that you lived in India. The major chunk of your loan is issued by the public sector banks that are extremely cautious. Plus, your bankers barely know about the CDOs.

Anyway, I am exceedingly sorry to have come to you despite the huge expanse of the oceans on your three sides and the shielding sky-soaring mountain on the fourth. Saluting your valor for fighting back this long.  

Warm regards,

Your never-returning adversary  

Recession Storming: Thriving In Downturns Through Superior Marketing, Pricing And Product Strategies                          

Tragedy with WE, the people

Trying to keep it short and simple, it isn’t about the upcoming elections in Bihar as a political crisis is inevitable. This is rather about the types of people who represent us. I categorize them into the deaf, the dumb and the blind.

The deaf and the blind are the ones who go impaired once they are done with the voters i.e. after the elections. Winning or losing don’t matter. In other words, they are initially a seasonal non-deaf and a protracted deaf thereafter, even though they pretend to be normal when they tour around. Conned you!

The dumb is the one who goes impaired in the same fashion as the deaf and the blind but unlike them, he is eager to hear you out or even look into your misery. Obviously that suggests he is a forced-mute. Fooled you!

Oops….there is also the rare fourth type - the lame.  Although it sounds like I am talking about dictators. The last known personality was Hitler, and the recent one to be tagged is Nitish Kumar. Thackerays are self-proclaimed, so they can be ignored. So, the lame is the one who fights tooth and nail for the welfare of his people but his limbs are axed by his peers when they no longer are able to reap any benefits under his command, sometimes by his rivals when they know letting him loose any further shall earn them a ticket to their retirement. Sympathy seekers!

The above said four types combined give rise to WE, the people. Ain’t all of this the tragedy? 

What You Should Know About Politics...But Don't: A Nonpartisan Guide to the Issues      

It's way too complicated......

A pair of foot approaching the doorsteps caught my attention. It was quarter past midnight. I was at my study table, about 5 yards away from the door, revising under night lamp for the exam ahead. As the room was not properly lit, it occurred to me there stood a lady by the door. She seemed to know me well, and came close in no time. I said to myself, why the hell study so much if I can’t even enjoy this enticing blissful moment? Kal ho na ho……

And there she was about half a yard away. I was across the table and I began to imagine what she would look like. The long hair that run till her waist line were symptomatic of the fairy from the romantic, magical pages of the fairy tales. Except that she suited up, it made me feel I found the one. I wanted to tell her how much I appreciated her coming.

“May I request you to hold back your kind words?” I spoke with an utter surge of emotions through my veins from my head to my head. “I know this isn’t the right place or the time for those magical three words but trust me, this will be the most cherished part of our lives that we together will ink with our love”. I continued being overtly poetic. “And I know you too….”

“I too what, Nikhil?” The reply in a masculine tone shut me down. “You continue to ruin things for me on your blog.” She bent over to speak further. I noticed the badge on her coat that read THINK BEYOND. “And I have come only to tell you not to rubble me down or my institute.”

I felt a shudder. “Arindam? Is it you?”

The curtains are lifted and a splash of water wakes me up from the slumber.

Horrible Dream (Glis Mix)