Whatsoever resemblance to any living or whosoever dead is INTENSE-NULL

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Ek anokhi daastaan

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APPEAL: This is my maiden attempt in Hinglish. Go through it carefully and yes, your valuable feedback will be highly appreciated.    
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Ravi us din mayus tha. Uska apni girlfriend se break up huye poora ek saal ho gaya tha. Kaam mei uska mann bilkul bhi nahi lag raha tha aur purane dino ki yaadein use aur bhi sata rahi thi. Isliye wo usi beach pe chala gaya jahan uski mulaqat Neha se pehli baar hui thi.


Shaam hone ko aayi thi. Samudra ki lehron ka anand lootne dher saare tourists aaye the. Aasmaan mei halki laalima chhayee hui thi. Hawaon mei jhumte huye taar ke ped, maano ek doosre ko apni khushi ka izhaar kar rahe the. Charo or harsh aur ullas ka mahaul tha. Ye dekh Ravi ka mann bhi thoda halka ho raha tha aur tabhi dur baithi ek ladki se uski aankhein chaar hui. Uske hothhon pe muskurat dekh Ravi bhi reh naa paya aur uski or kheecha chala gaya.

Mrignayan, kaano mei jhumke aur lambe baalon mei us ladki ki khubsurati dekhte hi ban rahi thi. Ravi ki khushi ka thhikaana nahi tha. Use dekh uski saari thakaan dur ho gayi aur use laga jaise ki uska akelapan shayad fir se dur ho jayega.

Us ladki ne Ravi ko paas baithne ka isaara kiya.

"Hi, I am Ravi. Ravi Singh.....bole to King. Waise, ek baat kahu…..you are very beautiful. Aur tumhari ye jo aankhein hain, unme doob jaane ko jee chahta hai. Waise, tum yehi ki rehne waali ho kya? Mera ghar Dhanbad padta hai. Suna to hoga tumne. By the way, let me tell you ki ek saal pehle aaj hi ke din mera apni girlfriend se break up hua tha. I hope you don’t mind. "

Us ladki ki naa (sar hilakar) mei Ravi ki haan thi. Ye dekh Ravi aur bhi prasann ho uthha. "Maine NIT Jamshedpur se Mechanical Engineering ki hai aur abhi mai Telcon mei kaam karta hoon. 2 mahino ki yaha training hai isliye aaya hoon. Waise, tum kuchh bol kyu nahi rahi. Kuchh to bolo? Tumhari koyal jaisi aawaaz sunne ke liye mai tab se betaab hoon. "


Ladki sharmaayi, palke jhuka kar thoda muskurayee aur gili ret pe likha, "Muh mei gutkha hai. "

Friday, November 26, 2010

Election 2010 and bloody DEMOCRACY

I knew this day would come.
OMG, what have I done?
Shit! Shit! Shit!
I shouldn’t have dramatized every Holi.
Public swept us like municipal does the garbage.
Where can I hide? Should I hide?
I should have boosted the agriculture sector.
IT companies will revolutionize the state. Eh…..more education, less vote.
Development is going to be upsetting.
Should I retire or fight back?
Not retire, I better be a responsible opposition.
I must help him govern the state in an effective manner.
I must volunteer to bring about the change that everyone has longed for.
I am definitely going to mend my ways, for the people.
I will set an example of improvement. (-) infinity to (+) infinity.
Bloody democracy, it’s killing me!!!


Such a series of thoughts that germinate only when hit badly is really trend-setting. Kudos to the voters of Bihar. Readers, pour in your views.     

Thursday, November 18, 2010

romantically PICked, beautifully PAINted

I am honoured to bring to you one of the finest works I have ever seen. And because I cannot justify even with the best of my vocabulary the talent that is involved, I request you to try your best. Here, take a look:


Courtesy: Nitish Ambastha

Certainly, you are dumb struck. If you are not, you are in so deep trouble. Consult a psychologist ASAP.

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Vijaya Heritage Saga

October 4, 2010
1550 hours

After 8 hours of loitering in the canteen, Mr. Pritesh asked us to bag-pack to set sail for our new abode. Us here includes me and 4 fellow trainees from Construction BU. By the way, the canteen saga is even better but I prefer not to discuss that for now. So, an auto-rickshaw was hired and three of us hopped in. Pritesh was all blah-blah about the guest house - picturesque surroundings, hygienic and amenities-laden living etcetra etcetera.

Vijaya Heritage, situated on the bank of river Kharkai, is this beautiful society except for its aloofness from the bustling city of Jamshedpur. The odds of hearing to the tinkling of bicycle is scanty low, let alone the honking of horn. The residents might know who their neighbours are but the pin-drop-silent evenings tell us all that shaped up since it was inhabited.

Anyway, we drove in Phase 5 of this much-talked-about society. I was asked by a senior to follow him upstairs to, what every referred to as, the dungeon. Dungeon because I was told that the oldest creature in there was one hell of a pain in the ass to live with. He bluntly said, "From your morning raga until post dinner slumber, you will be monitored by that skeleton-limply personality. You must also not voice out loud in front of any employee even if you dislike the system. His networking is better than that of IB. So, beware!"

And there I was. I was shown my coop so I let my hair down. About five minutes later, an instruction to fall back was sent. I felt relieved, and I quickly moved out. The other 2, Piyush and Abhishek, were then asked to fill-in, and I was allotted Phase 6 guest house. But it wasn’t that easy and the loitering kicked off again in another guest house, due to unavailability of the key to the alloted one.

At about 8 in the evening, my roomie returned from work. We dined and then headed towards the flat. An hour later, Piyush called up describing how he was treated for not having returned until 10. Now quoting the exact lines, I must say, is stupendous but here is a sample that will trigger food for thought:

Aaaye Piyush…..tum eedhor aaya to mere ko bina botaye kidhor chola gaya. Sob bola ki tumhara koi khobor noi ki kob aayega. Ye sob noi cholega eedhor. Somjha tum. Jaao, ab so jaao. Dos bojte sone se to uthhega site jaane ke liye.

Huhhh.…just imagine!