romantically PICked, beautifully PAINted

I am honoured to bring to you one of the finest works I have ever seen. And because I cannot justify even with the best of my vocabulary the talent that is involved, I request you to try your best. Here, take a look:

Courtesy: Nitish Ambastha

Certainly, you are dumb struck. If you are not, you are in so deep trouble. Consult a psychologist ASAP.

The Vijaya Heritage Saga

October 4, 2010

1550 hours

After 8 hours of loitering in the canteen, Mr. Pritesh asked us to bag-pack to set sail for our new abode. Us here includes me and 4 fellow trainees from Construction BU. By the way, the canteen saga is even better but I prefer not to discuss that for now. So, an auto-rickshaw was hired and three of us hopped in. Pritesh was all blah-blah about the guest house - picturesque surroundings, hygienic and amenities-laden living etcetra etcetera.

Vijaya Heritage, situated on the bank of river Kharkai, is this beautiful society except for its aloofness from the bustling city of Jamshedpur. The odds of hearing to the tinkling of bicycle is scanty low, let alone the honking of horn. The residents might know who their neighbours are but the pin-drop-silent evenings tell us all that shaped up since it was inhabited.

Anyway, we drove in Phase 5 of this much-talked-about society. I was asked by a senior to follow him upstairs to, what every referred to as, the dungeon. Dungeon because I was told that the oldest creature in there was one hell of a pain in the ass to live with. He bluntly said, "From your morning raga until post dinner slumber, you will be monitored by that skeleton-limply personality. You must also not voice out loud in front of any employee even if you dislike the system. His networking is better than that of IB. So, beware!"

And there I was. I was shown my coop so I let my hair down. About five minutes later, an instruction to fall back was sent. I felt relieved, and I quickly moved out. The other 2, Piyush and Abhishek, were then asked to fill-in, and I was allotted Phase 6 guest house. But it wasn’t that easy and the loitering kicked off again in another guest house, due to unavailability of the key to the alloted one.

At about 8 in the evening, my roomie returned from work. We dined and then headed towards the flat. An hour later, Piyush called up describing how he was treated for not having returned until 10. Now quoting the exact lines, I must say, is stupendous but here is a sample that will trigger food for thought:

Aaaye Piyush…..tum eedhor aaya to mere ko bina botaye kidhor chola gaya. Sob bola ki tumhara koi khobor noi ki kob aayega. Ye sob noi cholega eedhor. Somjha tum. Jaao, ab so jaao. Dos bojte sone se to uthhega site jaane ke liye.

Huhhh.…just imagine!

Self-retrospect…..you still have time

Recently launched Priority Inbox in Gmail is a revelation. I was excited when I heard about it, and even more excited when I reset the home page. Everything seemed alright. Emails from friends, Facebook add requests/follow-up comments, Orkut scraps and many others were automatically filtered.

While I was at it, few emails from job portals hurled in. I had registered on them when I was desperately looking for a writer job. Nevertheless, past is past and CHANGE is the essence of life so I removed their priority tag. All done.....I was happy that now I can customize effectively.

Then, another email came in rushing. As soon as I clicked on it, a message popped up - Is it a priority email? If not, click here. Obviously, I had to cancel it because a female fan had commented on my blog. After I successfully published the comment, an email from Sonam showed up. The same pop-up reappeared. Again I cancelled it. How could I have missed such a lovely message? I wrote that I missed her a lot and that I will see her soon. The next 5 minutes I was lost into our past - the lovely times spent together and some stupid fights. Mixed feeling but felt good.

As the flashback ended, another email popped up. I was surprised to see the filthiness of the language used so I scrolled up to see the sender. It read vishwakarma@heaven.org

Here goes the message:

Kamine, engineer ke naam pe kalank hai tu. I feel ashamed that you are one of us. Abhi tak ladkiyon ke peechhe bhaag raha hai. Job ke liye maine recommend kiya tha tujhe kyoki mujhe laga ki you are better a writer than an engineer. Na ghar ka raha tu, na ghat ka. Sonam toh bahut badi journalist ho gayi hai. Delhi mei usne apna ek flat bhi le liya hai. Tune kya kiya ab tak? Abhi ek mauka aur dunga, sudhar jaa warna.....

Khair chhor.....Vishu here. Buckle up. Bye.

Kis kis ki kismat

Disclaimer (for family and relatives only): Nothing that you are about to read reflects my state of mind. It is an attempt for a blogging contest that I want to participate in. Better, don't proceed.....oops :p     

Rest of the world.....so listen to what itched my brain last night. As expected, I self-talked for long as to what new technology I should come up with. Needless to say, every idea that crossed my mind somehow ended up in obvious extreme misuse by, of course, us. Homo sapiens are born f***ed-up creature, we tend to mess up everything around us. But of all the ideas, one that may benefit many is an FM. It is not the one you stuff in your ears and forget what the lecturer blabbers. It is rather a FANTASY METER, tailored for those Lukhkha Pandeys like me who are single and always ready to mingle ;). Sounds goofy? Eh.....let me explain.  

Suppose you are on your regular hunting stroll down the regular filled-with-love-birds lane of your regular maddening college. Maddening because you think you deserved better. Hunting because you are a f***ing loser when it comes to proposing a girl. Err, slip of tongue.  

Anyway, this fantasy meter tied to your wrist will have a compass and a digital display. Compass will point to the girl staring at you at that instant and the display will read out what her intentions (ahem, ahem) really are. Ahan.....seems you just jumped on your feet. Relax! Now, the complexity comes into picture if the girl you stared at has this FM. Things can be unpredictable.

It is also likely that you will be angrily ogled or slapped by many - then and there, or maybe you escape the beating because your FM will also alarm you to run asap. So, it is equally likely that the Lukhkhi Pandey who is as single and ready to mingle as you never crosses your path. On the contrary if she does cross, her FM will let her know that a premi-aashique-aawaara, paagal-majnu-diwaana is passionately staring at her. Bingo! Lukhkha Pandey no more.

~~ Happys Endings ~~