Confession of Mr. Recession

Dear Indian Customers,

I know your sugar/vegetable/petrol consumption has declined since I burgled into your house. Believe me; I did not bring myself upon you. I was unintentionally programmed by the great players of the market to sweep off your almirah shelves when your peers in America defaulted on their home loans. Without doubt, the principles of financial prudence were ignored while disbursing the risky loans but does it matter now? 

The greed of higher returns led to the housing bubble which eventually burst. Despite the preventive measures by US Federal Reserve, I unwillingly swelled beneath your nose under the alias ‘Sub-prime Crisis’. Also, I had no idea about globalization as I last surfaced in 1930. Such cascading effect was not expected this time. You might still be angry but trust me, you are lucky that you lived in India. The major chunk of your loan is issued by the public sector banks that are extremely cautious. Plus, your bankers barely know about the CDOs.

Anyway, I am exceedingly sorry to have come to you despite the huge expanse of the oceans on your three sides and the shielding sky-soaring mountain on the fourth. Saluting your valor for fighting back this long.  

Warm regards,

Your never-returning adversary  

Recession Storming: Thriving In Downturns Through Superior Marketing, Pricing And Product Strategies                          

Tragedy with WE, the people

Trying to keep it short and simple, it isn’t about the upcoming elections in Bihar as a political crisis is inevitable. This is rather about the types of people who represent us. I categorize them into the deaf, the dumb and the blind.

The deaf and the blind are the ones who go impaired once they are done with the voters i.e. after the elections. Winning or losing don’t matter. In other words, they are initially a seasonal non-deaf and a protracted deaf thereafter, even though they pretend to be normal when they tour around. Conned you!

The dumb is the one who goes impaired in the same fashion as the deaf and the blind but unlike them, he is eager to hear you out or even look into your misery. Obviously that suggests he is a forced-mute. Fooled you!

Oops….there is also the rare fourth type - the lame.  Although it sounds like I am talking about dictators. The last known personality was Hitler, and the recent one to be tagged is Nitish Kumar. Thackerays are self-proclaimed, so they can be ignored. So, the lame is the one who fights tooth and nail for the welfare of his people but his limbs are axed by his peers when they no longer are able to reap any benefits under his command, sometimes by his rivals when they know letting him loose any further shall earn them a ticket to their retirement. Sympathy seekers!

The above said four types combined give rise to WE, the people. Ain’t all of this the tragedy? 

What You Should Know About Politics...But Don't: A Nonpartisan Guide to the Issues      

It's way too complicated......

A pair of foot approaching the doorsteps caught my attention. It was quarter past midnight. I was at my study table, about 5 yards away from the door, revising under night lamp for the exam ahead. As the room was not properly lit, it occurred to me there stood a lady by the door. She seemed to know me well, and came close in no time. I said to myself, why the hell study so much if I can’t even enjoy this enticing blissful moment? Kal ho na ho……

And there she was about half a yard away. I was across the table and I began to imagine what she would look like. The long hair that run till her waist line were symptomatic of the fairy from the romantic, magical pages of the fairy tales. Except that she suited up, it made me feel I found the one. I wanted to tell her how much I appreciated her coming.

“May I request you to hold back your kind words?” I spoke with an utter surge of emotions through my veins from my head to my head. “I know this isn’t the right place or the time for those magical three words but trust me, this will be the most cherished part of our lives that we together will ink with our love”. I continued being overtly poetic. “And I know you too….”

“I too what, Nikhil?” The reply in a masculine tone shut me down. “You continue to ruin things for me on your blog.” She bent over to speak further. I noticed the badge on her coat that read THINK BEYOND. “And I have come only to tell you not to rubble me down or my institute.”

I felt a shudder. “Arindam? Is it you?”

The curtains are lifted and a splash of water wakes me up from the slumber.

Horrible Dream (Glis Mix)

Comes without a title*

This idea is not ingenious as it is supplementary to VKG's attempt (read The Mango Man and The Question Mark). Thanks to him.

So here is a list of Bollywood movies that reminds us of certain characters:

Phool Bane Angaarey - Mayawati (crores worth garland)
Kuch Tum Kaho, Kuch Hum Kahein - Lalit Modi & Sharad Pawar
Mera Naam Joker - Laloo
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham - Dhoni (CSK followed by WC)
Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander - Nitish Kumar
Muqaddar ka Sikander/Singh is King- MMS
Akele Hum Akele Tum - Salman & Rakhi Sawant
Kis Kis ki Kismat - Pratibha Patil
Ghatak - Raj Thackeray
Ghayal - Varun Gandhi
Diljale/Devdas - Salman
Ram Lakhan/Aa Ab Laut Chale - Ambani Brothers (Fight, grow, monopolize and then, reunite)
Mujhe Kuch (bhi) Kehna Hai - Tharoor
The Turning Brain (ooops) - Mamta Banerjee
Love Aajkal - Bobby Darling
Jab We Met - Sonia and MMS
Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge - Dalai Lama (nothing offensive)
Raaj – The Mystery Continues - Narendra Modi (Godhra)
Wake up Sid - Arindam Chaudhury (think beyond IIMs)
Madam X - Sonia
Hera Pheri - Madhu Koda
Phir Hera Pheri - Laloo
Kal Ho Na Ho - Atalji
Chori Chori Chupke Chupke - Headley
Refugee - MF Hussain
Bade Miya Chhote Miya - Rahul Gandhi & Varun Gandhi
Trimurti/ Awara Pagal Deewana - Laloo, Paswan and Mulayam
Rangeela/LSD - Swami Nityanand
Andaz Apna Apna - Laloo
Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa - Guruji (Jai Jharkhand!!!)
Baap Numbri Beta Das Numbri - Ambanis
Andha Kanoon - Kasab/Afzal

And I already posted about some TV series in VKG’s blog. Here it is again:

Prison Break - Lalooji
LOST - Chidambram (one after another blasts)
24 - Tharoor (wonder if he ever logged out of twitter)
Fringe - Advani (dethroned and aged)
V (Visitors) - Headley
Castle - Laden (self-sponsored)/Kasab (GOI sponsored)
The Mentalist - Baba Ramdev
How (many times) I met your mother- Aamir Khan
Flash Forward - Abdul Kalam (vision 2020)

*because VKG couldn't think of one.

The humorous depiction of characters in the prose works of S.M. Burns-Ncamashe.(Critical Essay): An article from: Journal of Literary Studies